A Solo Traveller at Heart: What Travelling With My Boyfriend Taught Me About Myself

I have been travelling solo since I was fifteen years old. I am thirty one now, which means more than half my life has been shaped by airports, border crossings, unfamiliar streets, and the quiet confidence that comes from figuring things out alone. Solo travel is not something I picked up later in life. It is woven into my identity. Among my friends and peers, I have always been that girl. The brave one. The one who goes anyway. The one who does not wait for permission, company, or perfect timing.

I even have it permanently inked on my body: ا تخف من شيء, which translates to fear nothing.
A reminder in Arabic that I do not need saving, slowing down, or softening to exist fully in this world.

Solo travel gave me freedom, yes, but more than that, it gave me power. It taught me who I am when no one else is steering. It gave me the ability to walk away from noise, expectations, and a life that feels too loud or too small. It became my escape route and my compass all at once.

So when I started travelling with my boyfriend, the question was not will I lose myself. It was will he fit into the way I move through the world?

I have always been extremely selective about who I travel with. I do not believe travel compatibility is a given. It is earned. I am strict about pace, decision making, safety, adaptability, and budget. I do not wait around when things go wrong. I problem solve. I do not romanticise chaos, but I also do not panic when comfort disappears. These are survival skills you earn over years of being a woman on the road alone.

Travelling Together, Not the Easy Way

Our first trip together was Egypt.

Not resort Egypt. Not curated or comfortable Egypt. Real Egypt. Long drives. Dust. Improvisation. Cultural differences. Developing world realities. A completely different continent far from what he had ever known.

My boyfriend is British and has always lived within the comfort of England. His travel experience before me consisted of European party trips like Ibiza and Amsterdam. He had never seen slums or witnessed how people live in developing countries first hand. I have. I lived alongside it in cities like Manila, Jeddah, and Dubai.

Taking him to Egypt as our first trip together felt daunting.

Not because I doubted him as a person, but because I knew how unforgiving travel can be if you are not mentally prepared. I worried my boldness would overwhelm him. That my spontaneity would feel reckless. That the way I move fast, instinctive, unbothered might clash with his need for familiarity.

Early on, I realised something important. Travelling with someone means carrying awareness in a way you do not when you are alone.

For the first time in years, I found myself checking in. Asking if he was okay. Gauging energy levels. Wondering if my appetite for adventure was too much. That was the moment I thought, this is different.

Independence Does Not Disappear, It Evolves

What surprised me most was how adaptable he was.

He did not shut down or complain endlessly. He adjusted. He stayed patient. He stayed open. In his own way, he started looking out for me, sometimes forgetting that I have been doing this on my own for years.

At one point, he jokingly said, you are no longer a strong independent woman. I laughed, but I corrected him.

I will always be independent.

Having a partner does not erase that. It adds to it.

There is a difference between being looked after and being limited. I do not need protection, but I welcome care. I do not need permission, but I appreciate support. Independence is not about rejecting softness. It is about choosing it without losing yourself.

Travelling together taught me that I do not need to perform strength to remain strong. I can accept help without surrendering control. I can be capable and cared for at the same time.

Boundaries on the Road

I have non negotiables when I travel.

I need a balance of adventure and comfort. I like to do bold things and be a bit of a daredevil, but I also value rest. Nice photos for Instagram are a must, so having a boyfriend to take pictures was a welcome bonus. I do not party every night. I do not wait around endlessly for people to get ready. I am strict with time. I set a budget and stick to it. If something is making me deeply unhappy, I remove myself and go straight into problem solving mode.

10 days in Egypt tested all of this.

After a ten hour car ride, we had to improvise before a tour. Instead of getting ready in the comfort of our hotel, we ended up changing in a fast food restaurant bathroom. To me, this was inconvenient but expected. Not normal, but familiar. It is the kind of thing that happens when you travel enough.

To him, it was a breaking point.

He had a moment.

For the first time, I had to assert a boundary. Not dramatically and not emotionally, but firmly. I did not entertain the spiral. I told him clearly that this was an overreaction and that the exhaustion and loss of comfort were amplifying the situation. I told him that once we arrived, this inconvenience would fade into insignificance.

I was not harsh, but I was unapologetic.

Later, he admitted that exhaustion and discomfort had got the better of him. That moment taught me something important about myself. I can lead calmly. I can hold my ground without guilt.

Communication Under Pressure

Travel reveals how you communicate when things go wrong.

Missed expectations. Physical exhaustion. Cultural shock. Stress. These moments do not care about romance. They expose patterns.

I learned that under pressure, I default to clarity and action. I do not panic or dwell. I move forward.

Travelling together showed me that I trust my instincts deeply and that I am comfortable being the steady one when things wobble.

It also showed me that partnership does not mean equal roles at all times. Sometimes one person leads while the other learns. That does not make the other weak. It makes the dynamic honest.

Staying Me, Even Together

One of the biggest fears women express about travelling with a partner is losing their individuality.

For me, that never happened.

When I need to create content for Girls Who Travel, I still do it. The difference now is that I can ask for help instead of carrying everything alone. There are activities only I am licensed or comfortable doing, like scuba diving, and that is okay. My independence has not shrunk. It has been supported.

I feel more confident asserting my needs now than ever before. He has proven himself reliable and helpful, and that reliability has made me even more grounded in who I am.

A Shift in Perspective

Travelling with my boyfriend changed how I view partnership.

It showed me that two very different people can complement each other. That similarity is not required for harmony. That independence does not need defending. It needs respecting.

Nothing about who I am has changed. If anything, I welcome this addition to my lifestyle rather than adjusting myself to fit it.

For the Women Wondering If They Should Try

If you are a solo traveller at heart and nervous about travelling with a partner, this is what I would tell you:

Do not shrink yourself to make it easier.
Do not abandon your instincts to keep the peace.
Do not mistake independence for isolation.

The right partner will not dim your fire. They will learn how to stand beside it.

You do not stop being a solo traveller just because someone walks next to you. You are still the woman who knows how to move through the world alone. You are simply choosing to share the road.

And when that choice is made on your own terms, it is powerful.

And while this story has always been about me, it would be incomplete without acknowledging him. Travelling together showed me that care can exist without control, and support can exist without expectation. He met me where I was, learned quickly, adapted willingly, and never once asked me to be smaller or slower. In the quiet moments between long drives and unfamiliar places, I realised how rare it is to feel both free and supported at the same time. For that, and for the way he chose to walk beside me rather than ahead or behind, I am deeply grateful for Rob.

Rachel

Rachel is an intrepid world traveller, lifestyle connoisseuse, and the resident beauty advisor at Girls Who Travel. A true ocean lover with a soft spot for flowers, films, and storytelling, she also has a growing collection of medium-sized tattoos. When she’s not immersed in her next adventure, Rachel shares stories from her travels along with practical tips and insights to help other women make the most of their journeys.